In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
