I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
