He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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