I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
