All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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