I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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