just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
