dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
