You're so nebulous sometimes
Please, let me fuck your mom
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
