Where is the hickey?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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