does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
