dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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