stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
