i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
where are you?
Hypothermia
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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