butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize