all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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