I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
