but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize