hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
