Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
