somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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