The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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