something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
