"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
