We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
