I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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