Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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