You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
