Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
