The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
