my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize