We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
