I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
