he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
