What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
