There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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