i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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