So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i out mim tonsoeep
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
