My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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