All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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