my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
