So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
