bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
