a queef is a wish your heart makes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's the barista slut.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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