you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
