lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
