I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Couch. On fire.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
