there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
