im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
