I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
