He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
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And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
