i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
