i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This is my gift to your gina
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
