I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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