We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
