just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
