You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i now understand why vodka
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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