I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
