If i come over, it means nothing
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
