that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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