I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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